To Catch A Thief
by Lindsey2
Summary: A game of cat and mouse with hilarious but dangerous consequences...and is it possible to fall in love with the person you're supposed to be enemies with? chapter 7 up!
1. Silent, slick and fast

:I've decided to go back to my 'roots' a little. My earlier fanfics had the love-hate relationship between Monica and Chandler (refer to TOW The Scare War and Rivals At First Sight) and I've missed doing that. So, here is one I think fans of those fanfics will enjoy, and what my newer readers will hopefully enjoy too. I'm not going to reveal too much. Just that Monica, Ross, and Rachel are one group, and Chandler, Phoebe and Joey are part of the other. The two groups don't know each other…yet.:

**To Catch a Thief**

**Chapter One – silent, slick and fast**

"Oh man, oh god, this is beautiful." Joey whispered.

"I know can you believe it?"

"No." 

Chandler turned to Joey and grinned. "You know what to do, right?"

Joey nodded, eyes dancing in excitement. "You bet I do!"

"Ok, I'll meet you round the back in the car; the trunk will be unlocked ready to put it in. For gods sake, don't take too long…those laxatives in the guard's coffee won't keep him in the bathroom for much longer."

"Didn't you put enough in then?" Joey asked, wide-eyed.

"Of course not, we only need a few minutes for this job." Chandler checked his watch, "Right, I'm going. Good luck man." He patted Joey's shoulder and ran down the hallway.

As soon as Chandler was gone, Joey immediately set to work. He pulled the painting off the wall, and covered it with a blanket to protect it. Groaning a little from the weight, he carried the painting along the corridor, keeping a look out for anybody watching him. As he reached the fire exit doors, a bright light flashed on his arm. 

"Don't move!" a voice yelled behind him. 

Joey's first instinct was to run. He crashed through the doors, nearly dropping the painting. The moonlight shone down on the sidewalk as he pounded towards Chandler's parked car.

"Get in quick!" Chandler yelled through the window. Joey threw the painting into the trunk of the car, ran round to the passenger side and leaped in. Chandler pressed his foot hard on the accelerator and the car sped off, leaving an angry security guard standing speechlessly on the sidewalk.

"Woohoo!" Chandler screamed as they sped around the corner. He pounded his fists on the steering wheel in excitement.

"We got it baby!" Joey yelled - his fists in the air.

"Their security sucked bad man!" Chandler said, laughing, "what a bunch of losers!"

"That has got to be our greatest job yet!" Joey said grinning.

"Did you see the guard's face when he swallowed that coffee?" Chandler asked, throwing his head back with mirth. 

"It was your finest moment yet!"

****

"They got away with it _again_?!" the voice of Monica's boss bellowed down the phone.

Monica exchanged glances with her colleagues and they nodded at each other silently. The _black panthers _had struck again.

"Why do they call them the _black panthers _again?" Monica asked her colleague, Michael.

"Because they are as silent, slick and fast as the creatures they are named after," Michael explained, sipping his coffee.

"Agent Geller in my office now!" their boss, Geoff, called.

Monica walked into Geoff's office and shut the door behind her. "Yes sir?"

"The New York Museum of Fine Art had a major security alert last night," Geoff explained grimly, "It is to be believed the _black panthers _were responsible. They stole an impressionist painting worth up to $6,000,000."

"That's their sixth robbery in three months _alone_," Monica said, shaking her head. "And we're not any closer to finding them?"

"Well, the security guard on duty last night has a vague description of the thieves," Geoff explained wearily, "but nothing concrete. He described about a million other North American males."

Monica groaned. "What do you want me to do Sir?" she asked.

"I'm putting you in charge of the now nationwide search of the _black panthers_; put together a team of accomplished FBI agents. I want results, I want those S.O.B's found… you hear me?"

Monica nodded, swallowing hard. 

****

"So you've done Montreal, Connecticut, California, San Francisco, San Diego and now New York?" Phoebe marvelled.

Joey grinned, swigging his beer. "Yes you blonde goddess that would be correct."

"Next stop…Vermont." Chandler said, looking at his map. "I would say a road trip would be the safest bet."

"You coming baby?" Joey asked Phoebe, wrapping his arms around her.

"You betcha!" Phoebe said grinning seductively at him.

Chandler groaned, turning away. "Give it a rest you two!" he complained, "I would say 'get a room', but that's impossible of course."

Joey surveyed their surroundings. The three friends had been staying in their beat up camper van for three weeks now. Every month they changed the way they travelled, to throw the police and FBI off the scent.

"The press are calling you the _black panthers _now," Phoebe observed, reading a paper she had bought in a newsagents in New York. As the police didn't know she existed in the gang, she could go wherever she wanted filling her friends in on the latest news.

"Cool, we've got nicknames!" Joey said, grinning. He caught Chandler's worried look. "What's up man?"

"Having a nickname is _not _good," Chandler told him, "It means people know who we are…and we don't want that."

"Chandler we have robbed 20 museums this year, of course people are gonna know who we are!" 

"Yeah but when there were no names…there was no trail." Chandler explained, "We're not 'the wet bandits!'"

Joey's brow furrowed. "The…who?" 

"Forget it," Chandler mumbled. Joey was supposed to be the mastermind of robberies, but right now he wasn't much better than the dumb one from 'Home Alone'.

"So, what are you guys going to do when you get to Vermont?" Phoebe asked.

"There's one more museum to visit, and it's a goldmine," Chandler promised, "When we get that painting, we're all set to cross the border to Mexico."

"Paradise," Joey said dreamily.

"Exactly," Chandler said, grinning, "We'll sell the loot and live in luxury."

"How much is the painting in Vermont?" Joey inquired, eyes staring at Chandler in anticipation.

"$100,000,000." 

Joey dropped to his knees. 

****

"They haven't injured anyone yet, no lives have been cost," Monica explained to her team of Agents, "they appear to be the most considerate robbers imaginable." She smiled wryly.

"Those considerate robbers have $50,000,000 worth of loot somewhere though," an agent added.

"That's why we need to find them," Monica said, "Go to every corner of North America. They're always on the move, they're sneaky. Don't trust a word they say."

****

"_Black Panthers,_" The man looked at the headline and laughed. "They think they are the next Bonnie and Clyde!"

His friend laughed in agreement.

"Well, no pair of common robbers are going to outwit me," the man whispered dangerously. "Robert? Call Dave, Tommy, Tyler…the old gang. We've got to find these idiots…and _soon_."

"And…and then what?" Robert asked nervously.

The man laughed coldly. "Then we kill them."

****

**End of Chapter One**

:so what do you think? Can you see where it's going yet? Or are you clueless but intrigued? Give your opinions, they're greatly appreciated!:


	2. the old lady and the lord

:thanks for the reviews! Keep it up! Here is the next chapter:

**To Catch a Thief**

**Chapter Two – the old lady and the lord**

The sun had set and the stars were beginning to peep out as Chandler drove from the streets of New York to the distant mountains of Vermont. He sighed happily. Sometimes he wished he could just do this all the time, driving through polluted streets one minute and then through beautiful scenery the next. It would be a simple life, but one he felt he would enjoy. It was a shame that couldn't be possible now.

He checked the signs; they would be crossing the border any point now and he knew Phoebe and Joey would not want to miss it. He banged his fist on the door behind him, which led to the sleeping area in the van. The door slid open with a creaking sound, and Joey poked his head through.

"What's up?" he asked.

"We're crossing the border," Chandler told him, pointing to that sign ahead that said, _Welcome to Vermont_ in big green letters.

"Cool! We made it!" Phoebe shouted, also poking her head through.

"Yeah, we did," Chandler said softly.

"Are you all right dude?" Joey asked, concerned, "you're usually excited whenever we make the border without getting caught."

"I _am _excited," Chandler told him, smiling, "I was just thinking about stuff, that's all."

"Well get that brain of yours into thinking about our next raid," Joey said, grinning. 

"Not now," Chandler said, grimacing, "Let's find a place to park up first. I want some sleep."

****

_Back in __New York___

"Are you sure you want to do this Mon?" Rachel, Monica's roommate, asked as she watched her friend pack, "It sounds dangerous."

"This is my job," Monica told her, neatly folding her clothes into a suitcase, "Cases come up like this all the time, I'll be fine."

"Yeah, but this is the _black panthers _we're talking about Mon," Rachel said worriedly, "I've heard about it on the news. These guys could be dangerous."

"There's nothing to suggest that they're violent." Monica dragged her cases out of her room and through the apartment.

"Still, Ross said to be alert at all times."

"My brother says that every time I walk through a rough neighbourhood," Monica said, smiling wryly, "This case is probably safer."

She turned to Rachel and gave her a huge hug. "I'll call you when I get there," she promised, "and, yes, I'll be careful."

"Ok, good luck!" Rachel called as Monica walked out into the hallway. 

The door shut and she carried on down, dragging her suitcase with her. "_Black panthers, _I'm coming to get you!" she muttered.

****

"Well, this place looks safe," Chandler observed, looking out over grassy hills, woods and mountains. He walked around the back of the van and opened the doors. "Welcome to the tranquillity of Vermont." He announced.

Joey got out and stretched his limbs. "Not when we've finished with it," he commented, grinning.

Phoebe got out behind him and smiled at the scenery. "Wow, this is beautiful," she breathed.

"Yeah, too bad we can't have a look around the state more," Chandler said, looking at a brochure he had picked up at his own risk from a store. "Hmmm…interesting," he murmured.

"What?" Joey asked, peeping over his shoulder.

"There's going to be an opening night gala at this new museum in the town," Chandler said, pointing to an article in the brochure.

"So?"

"So…this is the museum we want to break into Joey!" Chandler said excitedly, "What a perfect opportunity to check out security!"

"Yeah it would be if that article didn't say 'invites mandatory'," Joey pointed out.

"Ahh, that's only a minor detail," Chandler said dismissively, "I'll make sure we get in. Hmm, black ties…I always fancied wearing a tux." He grinned.

"This is crazy," Joey shook his head, "we can't gatecrash the party of a museum we are going to break into after! That's suicidal."

"No, it's _brilliant_," Chandler corrected him, "if we know all the security stuff before hand, there is less chance of us getting caught!"

"Ok, but where are we going to get hold of two pairs of tuxedos?" Joey demanded.

They both turned to Phoebe, who rolled her eyes. "Ok, I'll go shopping tomorrow," she assured them.

"See Joey? Nothing to worry about!" Chandler said exultantly.

"Apart from the small matter of getting in without an invite," Joey reminded him.

"Joe, you are talking to the guy who spiked a guard's coffee with _laxatives_," Chandler said to him, "I'll get us in."

"If you say so."

****

"Would all passengers please make their way to 'arrivals'," a perky voice said over the megaphone, "We hope you enjoyed flying with us."

"Yeah, brilliant," Monica muttered, stepping off the plane. She'd had to fly from New York to Washington to check in at HQ, and then she flew from Washington to Vermont. She felt tired and irritated. As an FBI agent, Monica could fly first class on any flight, but it didn't mean the quality of service was any better. The toilets were out of service, the food was inedible and the on-screen entertainment featured an old short of _Laurel and Hardy_. After travelling for several hours, Monica didn't have the patience for a fat guy and a thin guy falling over rail tracks.

She walked through 'Arrivals' and waited for her baggage to come through. After what seemed like eternity, the carousel transported her cases and bags to her and she picked them up. She walked out of the airport and was relieved to see a vacant cab parked outside.

"Hard flight huh?" the driver asked sympathetically as she practically fell into the back seat.

"Yeah," Monica sighed wearily.

"Where to?"

"Any hotel with decent food and a shower," Monica told him, smiling wearily.

"Ok," the driver said, chuckling at ease.

They arrived outside a hotel called the _Marriot_; Monica got out, paid the driver and walked in.

"Do you have any vacancies?" Monica asked the receptionist on duty.

"Sure!" the receptionist said perkily, "Is the room for one?"

"No, there is a whole army of people behind me," Monica deadpanned.

"Um…ok, room for one," the receptionist muttered, immediately losing her perkiness. She handed Monica a key. "Room 121. The bellman will bring up your bags," she told her stonily.

"Thank you," Monica said gratefully, realising she had sounded rude before, "I appreciate it."

"No problem."

Monica arrived at her room and smiled in relief at her surroundings. The hotel was obviously highly rated…her cab driver had done well. A knock came from the door and she smiled in relief when she saw the bellman with her bags. 

After the bellman left, Monica unzipped her bags and pulled out several brochures and guides of Vermont. If she was going to catch these thieves, she needed to know the culture of this state…especially the locations of all the museums.

Her cell phone rang and she answered it. "Hello?"

"Hey Agent Geller, we've got a lead on the _black panthers_!"

"Ok Dan, what's the story?"

"There are some eyewitnesses in Vermont saying that a suspicious looking van in the mountains of Vermont is parked…"

"Vermont?" Monica interrupted, eyes wide, "that's where I am right now!"

"Really? Cool! How did you manage that?"

Monica rolled her eyes. "It's called picking out a state closest to New York and sheer good luck." 

"Great! Well this van could just be occupied by travellers but Geoff thinks you should check it out."

"Ok, I'll keep in touch."

Monica hung up and smiled. Her gut instincts were usually correct, she had a feeling this van may hold some clues.

Now she just needed to know which mountain Dan was talking about.

****

"Cool museum!" Joey commented, staring at the superior looking building in front of him. He adjusted his sunglasses – his effort at a disguise.

Chandler planted his own glasses on and adjusted his sunhat. "We look ridiculous." He grumbled, "No one wears these anymore…especially not with shades!"

"Oh come on, you've got that 'old lady' thing going on," Joey said, grinning.

"And who are you? Will Smith?" Chandler sneered. "Why haven't _you _got a hat on?"

"Phoebe only had one - it fits your head better than mine, and the security guy in New York slapped a vague ID on us!" Joey exclaimed, "You don't know who will be about!"

"I think disguises just make us even _more _noticeable." Chandler said, walking to the entrance of the museum. They walked in, and Chandler pulled his hat off. Noticing Joey's look he rolled his eyes. "I'll keep the shades on." He told him.

"Can I help you gentlemen?" An official looking man asked, approaching them.

"Um…we're just looking around," Chandler said.

"Well, we have some very unique collections around here," the man explained, smiling. 

"I know," Joey murmured, getting a nudge from Chandler.

"I couldn't help noticing you're having an opening night ball tonight?" Chandler asked now.

"Yes!" the man said enthusiastically, "The museum opens officially with the media then…but I'm afraid it's invitation only." He looked apologetically at Chandler and Joey.

"Oh wow, what a pity! Isn't it a pity Lord Tribbiani?" Chandler asked, looking meaningfully at Joey.

"Um…yes, yes it is!" Joey said, darting a glare at Chandler.

"_Lord_ Tribbiani?" the man asked, suddenly looking at the pair with renewed interest.

"Oh yes, this is Lord Tribbiani!" Chandler lied, putting on an enthusiastic smile, "Originally from…um…Kentucky! He is _such _an art fanatic Sir! I _told_ him this gala was invitation only but he _insisted _…so sorry old man…"

"No, no! That's fine! No need to apologise!" the man exclaimed, waving his hand dismissively, "Is Mr Tribbiani interested in…_contributing _to the museum?"

"Oh I'm sure we can work something out," Chandler smiled widely, ignoring Joey's panicked looks.

"Well, consider yourselves invited!" the man told him immediately, "Just tell the security at the entrance that your names are on the guest list. What's…um…your name?"

"Mark Johnson," Chandler told him quickly.

"Well Mr Johnson and Lord Tribbiani, we are very honoured to have you here at our facility!" the man said, beginning to walk away, "Oh I must tell my boss the good news!"

Chandler leaned against the entrance doors, laughing hard. "Oh…my…god," he gasped, "what an _idiot_."

"_You're _the idiot!" Joey said crossly, "Have you forgotten that I'm _not _a lord?"

Chandler straightened up and grinned. "Just a little white lie Joe!" he said, walking back out into the street, "Don't you see? We're in!"

"Where did you get the name Mark Johnson?" Joey inquired, following him.

"I was thinking of changing my name a while ago," Chandler explained, shrugging.

Joey snorted, "I think I prefer Chandler," he said.

****

Monica looked nervously at the group of men sitting across from her at the table.

"So, you're working for the FBI?" one of them asked for confirmation.

"Yes, and it's _very _important I attend your gala tonight," Monica said firmly.

"Um…why exactly?" Another man with a shock of ginger hair asked in confusion.

"My colleagues and I believe that the _black panthers_ would be attracted to something like this," Monica explained.

The ginger headed man gripped the table, eyes widening. "The _black panthers_?" he whispered.

"Who the hell are they?" Another man with blonde hair asked, frowning.

"You don't know the _black panthers_?" the ginger headed one shrieked. "They're on 'America's Most Wanted' list! They've stole millions of dollars worth of Art collections!" 

Monica winced. This man had an ultrasonic voice on him.

"And these guys are in _Vermont_?" the blonde asked in disbelief, turning back to Monica.

"We're following up a lead," Monica said, shrugging, "No one knows for sure yet."

"This could be bad publicity," the third guy piped up for the first time. 

"That's why I'll be staying undercover tonight," Monica explained, "I just want to check out your security – the _black panthers _won't want to find any loopholes to get in."

"Ok, if we let you come tonight, I don't want any trouble," the blonde warned, "the last thing this museum needs is crazy gun-shootouts on its opening night!"

"There won't be any trouble," Monica promised. Now on to find that van.

****

"Doug, it looks like this museum could be interesting. 'Bonnie and Clyde' might be going there, you never know…"

A brochure is handed to Doug and he looked at it with a keen eye. "Yes, Tommy, _very _interesting…"

**End of Chapter 2**

:things will be speeding up soon! These are just introductory parts at the moment! Please review!:


	3. the blue eyed stranger

:Thank you for your reviews! Keep them coming!:

**To Catch a Thief**

**Chapter 3 – the blue-eyed stranger**

"I still don't think this is such a good idea," Joey mumbled nervously as he fiddled with his tie. He pulled the strings tighter, causing the bow to look like one big knot.

"Here, let me do it," Chandler said, undoing the tie and retying it. "Tonight is going to be fine. Just remember who you are going as."

"Lord Tribbiani of Kentucky," Joey stated, rolling his eyes, "I feel like an idiot. I'm pretty sure there are _no _lords in Kentucky."

"Those dorks won't care about that," Chandler predicted, still struggling with Joey's tie, "All they want is our money."

"Yeah, about that…what are we supposed to tell them when they find out we _don't _have any money?"

"We'll have checked out the security and be long gone by then," Chandler told him, grinning. He stepped back and studied Joey critically. "Pheebs? What do you think?"

Phoebe poked her head in the van from outside and nodded. "You boys look _very _handsome," she replied, "you definitely don't look like two thieves from New York!"

"Right then! Let's go to the ball!" Chandler said proudly, "Pheebs, guard the van, we shouldn't be back any later than midnight."

****

Monica adjusted the strap of her silvery gown as she got in line outside the museum. She clutched her invitation tightly, studying each group of people walking in past the security at the entrance. Those thieves just _had _to be here somewhere; there was no way they would pass up an opportunity like this to study security without anyone looking at them suspiciously.

That is, if they _were _in Vermont at all. Monica had spent an unsuccessful afternoon desperately trying to look for the van and with no results. She concluded they must move it every few hours to cover their tracks. It was becoming _very _frustrating.

"Hello Sir! This is Lord Tribbiani and I'm his Aide, Mark Johnson!" a male voice just a few places in front of her greeted the security cheerfully. She grinned slightly at the titles of these two men.

"Are you on the list?" the burly guard asked gruffly.

"Well I've never been so insulted in my _life_!" the blue-eyed Aide said haughtily.

Monica rolled her eyes as she watched the two men walk rather extravagantly past the security and inside. If that was the way rich people acted, she was glad she wasn't one of them. She found it amusing that the 'Lord' of the pair had stayed silent throughout this exchange between the Aide and the guard, as though he was the lesser of the two. If he hadn't sounded like such a snob, Monica would have probably liked the quite handsome Aide.

Stop it; she chided herself, rolling her eyes. Here she was, an undercover secret agent, and she was checking out the male guests. 

A few minutes later, she was handing her invitation to the guard and walking inside in the building. Her eyes roamed around the huge room specially set up for the party, shocked at the amount of people gathered around. There looked to be about 200 of them, all wearing tuxes and dresses, talking and laughing about anything and everything.

She stopped to gaze at two men standing in the corner, their eyes darting all over the place as though they were looking for someone. They looked like a rough pair; the taller of the two of them had a scar running down his cheek, the other one had a scowl written across his pale face.

She tapped the shoulder of a distinguished looking lady who turned around and eyed her critically.

"Excuse me? Do you know who the two men are in the corner?" she asked nervously.

"I think they're one of those fundraisers for the event," the woman said airily, "They don't need an invitation, and they just get in after a security check."

"Interesting," Monica murmured.

"Interesting? Those two look like they wished they could be _anywhere _but here!"

Monica laughed and nodded, seeing that this woman was right. Those two men looked _very _uncomfortable in their current surroundings.

****

"Did you hear that?" Joey whispered, gulping down his glass of wine hurriedly.

"Hear what?" Chandler asked distractedly, busy checking out the security cameras on the walls.

"What that woman just said! We could have been just _fundraisers _dude! None of this Lord crap!"

"Oh well, too late to do that now," Chandler said, shrugging, "who said it?"

"That blonde woman over there!" Joey pointed to two women, one dark haired, the other a strawberry blonde, in deep discussion just a few feet away.

Chandler followed Joey's gaze and he swallowed hard, seeing whom he was pointing to. The more petite woman out of the two, with her glistening brunette hair and sparkling silver dress stood out in the crowd. She was beautiful. 

"Do you see them?" Joey asked.

"Oh yeah, I see them," Chandler said, his throat going dry as he watched the brunette laugh heartily at something the blonde said.

"Hey, you ok man?" Joey asked, furrowing his brow at Chandler, "you look like you're about to faint! Your eyes look kind of…big and staring?"

The brunette seemed to have sensed that someone was watching her and she turned around, briefly meeting Chandler's eyes. His head snapped away to Joey and his cheeks flushed. "I'm fine-I'm fine," he mumbled, "Shall we-uh-find out where the security are-uh-based at then?"

He pulled Joey to the exit, trying to clear his head.

"You _sure _you're ok?"

"I'm _fine_, why shouldn't I be ok?!" Chandler asked hurriedly, walking down the hallway.

"Because you're acting weird," Joey said, hurrying after him, "You're freaking out about something, I can tell." He stopped, his eyes widening. "Oh god, no one recognised us did they?!" he squeaked.

"Of course not!" Chandler exclaimed, turning to wait for Joey to start walking again; "Let's just get this over with, ok?"

The truth was…he _was_ freaking out about something. Those few short seconds he had spent looking into that woman's eyes had made him feel things he had never allowed himself to feel before. __

****

Monica could have sworn the Aide she had scorned but secretly admired earlier had been checking out her out just then. In fact, she was sure of it. He had definitely been flustered when he was caught staring at her…and he had the brightest blue eyes she had ever seen.

She had to start focusing on more important things though. She had been assigned to catch a thief and that was what she was going to do.

She went back to watching the two suspicious looking men in the corner of the room, but, to her annoyance, they had disappeared from their spots while she had been staring at the blue-eyed stranger.

"Damn," she muttered. She started to walk swiftly around the room, scanning around for the men. Her gut feeling was that they had something to do with the _black panthers _and there was no way she was letting them out of her sight.

She saw a side exit and walked out, going through the hallways. As she went through the building, she realised she was getting nearer to the security offices of the museum.

There was a little room to the side of the hallway, in it were a small desk and several television sets scattered around showing images of the party guests. The room was empty.

She walked over to the door, hesitating before going in. The owners had specifically told her that she was banned from this area of the building, telling her that they didn't want any trouble, but if she was ever going to find those men, she would _have _to watch the television screens to find their location.

She watched the screens intently, hoping the men were on camera, but there was nothing.

To her bewilderment, on one of the screens she saw what looked like the Lord and his Aide running through the hallways. A second later, she saw two other men that she had never seen before chasing after them. 

"What the hell," she muttered, eyes widening as she watched the Aide stumble and fall on the floor.

She grabbed at the television, searching for some sort of volume control. She was desperate to know what was going on and after a few frantic minutes she found a switch and flicked it on.

"Joey! Run-run now!" the Aide yelled as the two men that had been chasing him grabbed him by the arms and lifted him up.

Monica watched the other television screen where it showed the 'lord' further up the hallway, staring at his Aide in fright.

"Run!" the Aide bellowed from the screen, "find Phoebe and get help!"

Monica's eyes flickered over to the 'lord' who nodded and ran off screen.

The men who held the struggling Aide dragged him off.

"Oh my god, oh my god," Monica muttered, turning around and crashing straight into the scar faced man she had been looking for in the first place.

"Did you see that?" he whispered dangerously.

"I…I…"

"Robert!" he bellowed, "we have ourselves a witness!"

The other man Monica had been looking for stood in at the entrance and made a grab for her. She screamed and tried to break free, but this man was too strong for her. He clamped a handkerchief on her nose and mouth and she at once felt dizzy and nauseous…then everything went black.

****

Joey crashed through a fire exit at the end of the building and collapsed on the sidewalk, wheezing heavily. Everything had happened so fast. One minute he had been arguing over why Chandler seemed weird and then the next Chandler had turned a deadly pale, told him not to turn around and instead start running.

Of course, he _had _turned around…and what he had saw made his heart skip a beat. Two strong, burly men had started to chase after them, and then it was simply a game of cat and mouse.

The mice had lost…or at least one of them had. He was free, but Chandler wasn't.

And he didn't have a clue what to do next.

He stood up from his kneeling position on the sidewalk and started to walk quickly through the streets, desperate to get to the van and find Phoebe.

****

"Let go of me!" Chandler yelled, struggling from the men's tight grip on his arms. They dragged him outside to a large van. One of them, the younger looking out of the two, let go of him and opened the back door to the van, revealing an empty space.

"Get in," the other man, still holding an excruciatingly painful grip on his arm, ordered.

"Screw you!" Chandler yelled, causing him to get a hard slap around the face.

"You either get in or we kill you!" the younger man yelled at him, pointing a gun in his face.

"Easy Tyler," the other man told him, "Doug said to bring them back alive."

"Shut up Dave."

"Too bad you've only got one of us, isn't it?" Chandler muttered at him.

"Shut up," Dave snarled now, shoving him into the back of the van and shutting the door. There was now complete darkness, and he couldn't see a thing.

Chandler rubbed the arm that had been held painfully by Dave and groaned loudly. He had no idea who these people were, but obviously they didn't like him. He wondered where Joey was, and hoped he was safe.

"Where have Robert and Tommy got to?" Chandler heard Tyler demand, "They've completely disappeared!"

"Probably enjoying the wine at the party," Dave said with a bitter laugh.

"Here they are," Tyler said now, "where the hell have you two been? And who the bloody hell is _that_?"

"Yeah, we kind of ran into a complication Tyler," a different voice said, "She saw everything…we couldn't exactly let her go could we?"

"What have you done to her?" Dave asked.

"Drugged her," another voice said, "don't worry, she'll wake up soon."

Chandler widened his eyes. Who had these psychos got with them?

The door opened and he watched a scar faced man, who he guessed was Tommy, shove in an unconscious woman into the van. She laid still next him with her eyes closed.

Chandler sucked in his breath. He was sure it was the woman he had been checking out a little while ago at the party. How did _she _get involved in this mess?

"Not a word," Tommy warned - slamming the door shut which caused the light to be blocked out again. 

Chandler sighed and rubbed his arm again. He wished he had a torch with him, anything to get some light into the cramped space he was trapped in. When this woman woke up, she would be asking questions and he didn't have the faintest idea of what he was going to tell her.

****

**End of Chapter 3**

:I know there isn't much of Ross and Rachel right now, but they won't be featured until a bit later on.:


	4. a journey and a dangerous mission

:hi all thank you for nice reviews! Please keep them coming, it's great to have opinions. I'll be on holiday next week so no updates until after then I'm afraid! 

And thanks to everyone who gave me advice on some details about the structure of this fanfic, it is very much appreciated!

**To Catch a Thief**

**Chapter 4 – a journey and a dangerous mission**

Chandler wished there was a little bit of light in the van so he could see how the woman was doing. There had been no sign of movement from her since the van had started to go on the move. Every so often there would be a flash of light going through the window indicating there was a car following them, but it wasn't bright enough for Chandler to study his surroundings.

He knew one thing though; the space he was in was cramped, mildewed and grimy. There wasn't much clean air in the van and Chandler knew it wouldn't do the woman much good.

Chandler felt a little jolt of panic as he realised he didn't know if this woman was even still _alive_. He had no idea what the men had given to her for her to fall asleep. For all he knew, she could have stopped breathing ages ago.

He felt around blindly for the woman's wrist to check her pulse but instead he caught her knee, causing to his shock, a quick movement and loud scream from its owner.

"Get off! Who are you?!" the woman screamed, kicking out at him.

"Oh my god, I'm _so _sorry!" Chandler burst out, moving his hand away from her, "I thought you were still unconscious!"

"Just stay away from me!" she screamed at him.

Chandler winced at the ultrasonic, panicky tones coming from the woman. "I'm not going to hurt you," he said softly.

"Of _course _you're going to _hurt _me!" the woman wailed, "why else would you put me in here?"

Chandler widened his eyes in the darkness. This woman thought he was one of the kidnappers. "I'm…I'm not one of them," he stuttered.

There was a short silence and then he heard the sounds of stifled sobs.

"Please don't cry," Chandler begged awkwardly, "I'm really not going to hurt you."

There was a loud sniff. "You…you must be that Aide," she muttered, "I…I saw you being captured…that's the last thing I can remember."

Chandler's stomach lurched. Did this woman know who he _really _was? Did she suspect anything? 

****

As soon as Monica knew this man wasn't going to hurt her…or at least not for the moment…she relaxed a little. Her detective brain started to spin full of thoughts. Who was this man? What did the kidnappers want with him?

Then another thought struck her. 

"For a Lord's Aide, you sound very American," she said casually. She yearned to see the expression on the man's face so she could glimpse if he was horrified by this remark.

"Well…um…yeah, I'm from…um…Kentucky," the man replied.

Monica narrowed her eyes in the darkness. Kentucky, huh? "For someone from Kentucky, you sound very…New York-ish?"

A short laugh came from the man and Monica knew she had caught him out. 

"Yes, that's right; I'm originally from New York but now live in Kentucky." The man replied, a slight inflection now coming to his voice.

"And the Lord is American too?" Monica inquired. This was the moment of truth question.

"Yeah, he's actually got an Italian background… but he was raised in New York and then went to live in Kentucky."

Monica smiled triumphantly. "You know that's funny, I thought he would have a _British _background," she remarked.

"Um…_no_," the man said slowly, "Lord Tribbiani hasn't got any British inheritance in him at all. As I said, he was raised in New York."

"Ok." Monica replied. She would leave the matter of this man's background for the moment, but there was no way she was going to let that one go. She was now pretty certain that this man's name was _not _Mark Johnson.

"So…um…who are _you_?" Mark asked now.

Monica hesitated. She couldn't reveal her career of course, that could be potentially dangerous, but would it matter too much if she revealed her name? "Monica," she replied.

"I wish I could say it's a pleasure to meet you but maybe not under these circumstances," Mark joked.

Monica laughed. She never thought she could feel like laughing right now, but she did. Maybe it was nerves…or maybe it was because she liked the sound of this man, Mark Johnson or not.

"Why were you staring at me in the ballroom?" she asked suddenly. 

"Wh-what? I wasn't _staring _at you. Why-why would I do that?" 

"If you weren't staring at me, then why did you get so flustered when I caught you out?" Monica demanded.

"I was _casually_ looking around at all the guests at the party," Mark said defensively.

"So you were _casually _looking into my eyes?"

"I was _not _looking into your eyes!" Mark retorted.

"Oh you so were!"

"I was so _not_!"

"Then why did you blush and get flustered then?" Monica asked again.

"I…did…not…blush," Mark said tightly.

Monica was about to retort again when the van lurched to the left, causing her to fall against her companion's body. She gripped her arms around his waist, trying to get her balance. When the van was rolling along gently again, she continued to hold him tight, breathing deeply. There was a pleasant scent coming from him…what was it, soap? Aftershave? She felt herself react to the gentle touch of his arm around her waist and she immediately pulled away, grateful that the darkness covered her blushing cheeks.

 "Are you ok?" his voice asked softly.

"Um…yeah," Monica muttered, leaning against her side of the van.

****

Chandler sensed a change in Monica's demeanour. She wasn't talking anymore, which seemed to be uncharacteristic for her. He could tell straight away that this was a woman who liked to be in charge, and conversation was probably high on her ways to socialise.

He smiled to himself as he thought of the situation that came up a while ago. The van had swerved around a tight bend and Monica had fallen into his arms, gripping his waist tightly. Her hair had fallen in his face, and he had caught the faint, sweet smell of shampoo. 

He could have sworn that Monica had reacted to his arm wrapped protectively around her waist, as though she had _liked _it or something. She had continued to hold on to his body, breathing profoundly. That wasn't possible of course, and he laughed inside at that absurd thought. He had never known a woman to react to his _touch_…so why would Monica do so?

As these thoughts ran through Chandler's confused and annoyingly _aroused _mind, he wondered where this journey would end and if Joey had reached Phoebe yet.

****

Phoebe checked her watch. 3a.m. The boys were three hours later than they said they would be. Where could they be? 

She had been on a constant lookout for them out of their camper van window, the idea of sleep far from her mind. She just wanted them back here, safe. She wanted Joey back in her arms and Chandler around to make jokes, as he often did.

There was a hammering on the van door and she jumped in fright.

"Phoebe!" Joey's voice shouted, "Open up, quickly!"

She walked quickly to the door and opened it. In front of her, Joey stood, a look of pure terror across his features and tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Joey, what's the matter?" Phoebe asked, wide-eyed, "where's Chandler?"

"They…they took him…don't know where…" Joey rambled wildly, walking inside. "I've got to find him…right away."

"Who took him?" Phoebe demanded, confused and frightened, "what are you talking about?"

Joey went on to explain to her very quickly about what happened and her eyes widened in shock. "Oh my god," she whispered as Joey finished his story, "what are we going to do?"

"Find him of course!" Joey exclaimed, beginning to rummage in bags, throwing clothes out of the way.

"What are you doing?" Phoebe asked, watching him in interest. 

"I need a map of Vermont," Joey mumbled, "where did Chandler put it…ha-ha here it is!" he pulled out a small brochure and smiled triumphantly. He walked over to the door and opened it. He turned back to Phoebe and took her hand. "Whatever you do, you must _not _walk out of the van," he warned, "I don't want you in any danger!"

"If you think I'm staying here while you go out on some dangerous mission to find Chandler, you've got another thing coming!" Phoebe told him, scowling, "I'm coming with you!"

Joey gave her a helpless grin and shook his head. "I might have known you would say that," he said, "but I think this is going to be too dangerous for you."

"Joey, sweetie, I was living on the streets at 13! I had to deal with muggers, stalkers, rapists and god knows what else to survive! I think I can handle a couple of kidnappers!" Phoebe grabbed her coat, a torch and a large woolly hat.

"Ok, but if I get caught you _go_…you hear me?" Joey told her sternly, "Don't hang around to rescue me."

"Shall we just go?" Phoebe asked, tapping her foot impatiently. She walked past Joey and stepped out of the van. She looked up at the sky, seeing the stars and the moon shining brightly on the trees. It was the middle of the fall right then and there was a bitter cold breeze blowing around. She bundled up her coat tighter and pulled on her hat. "Not long to go until Halloween," she commented. She caught Joey's look and shrugged, "I was just _saying_."

"Ok…um…I think I saw the van Chandler got bundled into was heading for a town called Stowe," Joey murmured, studying his map. "We might want to go there."

"How far away is Stowe?"

"Not too sure, it will be a long walk."

"Great, just great," Phoebe grumbled, "by the time we find Chandler, we'll both be suffering from pneumonia."

They started to walk through the trees, heading to the nearest road they could remember.

*snap*

"Ahh!" Joey yelped, stepping backwards.

"Joey, it's just a twig," Phoebe said, rolling her eyes, "just be careful where you tread."

****

Chandler didn't know how long he had been sleeping, but when he woke up, the van had stopped.

"Wh-where are we?" he said groggily.

"Were you asleep?" Monica asked, "I _thought_ you were a bit quiet."

Chandler froze when he heard movement from outside and he saw some shadows appear outside the door. The door opened, revealing the four men who had kidnapped them.

Kyle pointed at him and scowled. "You, wise guy, get out." He ordered. Chandler pulled himself out of the van and stood motionless in front of the four men.

Tommy reached for Monica and pulled her out. "Right then, who are you?" he demanded.

Monica scowled at him. "Why should I tell you?" she demanded.

"Because if you don't I'll hurt you, and I don't think you want to get hurt, do you?" Tommy asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Hey, leave her alone!" Chandler told him angrily, "she's completely innocent in all this!"

"And how do we know that?" Kyle demanded, rounding on him, "For all we know, she could be your partner in crime!"

"I am _not _his partner in crime!" Monica shouted. She stared at Chandler, confusion spread all over her face. "I don't even know who he _is_…"

"I'm the Aide of Lord Tribbiani of Kentucky!" Chandler said bravely, causing Monica to give out a little derisory laugh and the four men to smirk sceptically.

"Gone up in the world, haven't you?" Robert said, grinning nastily.

Chandler's face darkened. "I don't know what you're talking about," he muttered.

"Oh but I think you do," Dave said, shaking his head. 

Tommy turned to Monica. "So, I think a little search is needed here," he said, "stand still."

"You're going to _search _me?" Monica whispered.

Chandler studied the expression on Monica's face. She looked… well…scared. Even more scared than she did a minute ago.

"Take off your coat," Kyle ordered.

Monica slowly took off her coat and handed it to him. He immediately began to rummage in the pockets, and he soon pulled out a cell phone and a think leather booklet.

"Ahh, it looks like we have some Identification!" Kyle said triumphantly. He pulled it open and studied the card stashed inside. As he read the details he started to make choking sounds, his face turning deathly pale that even in the darkness Chandler could see.

Kyle wordlessly handed the ID to Robert who closed his eyes in pain when he saw it. Tommy and Dave peeped over his shoulder. Dave gave out a strangled gasp and Tommy swore loudly.

"I don't believe it," Kyle muttered, scowling, "what the hell are we going to do?!"

Tommy stepped closer to Monica, whose face had turned from worried to triumphant. 

Chandler stared around the group curiously. What was it about Monica's Id that had turned the kidnappers from tough nuts to gibbering wrecks?

"You're…you're a FBI agent?" Tommy bellowed, brandishing the ID in Monica's face.

Chandler's heart skipped a beat. A…what?

"That's right!" Monica shouted, "how screwed are you?" she started to laugh only to cry out in pain when Tommy grabbed her hair.

"Shut up," he ordered.

Robert, Kyle and Dave stared at Monica in awe. In spite of the shock, Chandler couldn't help but grin. These men looked like they were about to have a fit right there on the sidewalk. For the first time, Chandler looked around his surroundings. They were on a tiny road, the van was parked outside a small, empty boutique, and in the distance Chandler could see what he thought were ski lifts and tall mountains.  
Kyle swore loudly and began to pace the sidewalk. "Oh this is so bad." He muttered.

"Too right it is," Chandler muttered, briefly meeting Monica's eyes. She gave him a small smile, then it turned into a glare and she looked away.

As the men debated what to do next, Chandler wondered just how these men knew who he was. Were they working for someone who knew him? 

His thoughts turned to Monica. What was a FBI Agent doing in Vermont? Was she undercover at the party?

His stomach gave a lurch as he realised that maybe the reason she was undercover was because of _him_…she obviously was out to get the _black panthers_.

Chandler just wondered if this situation could _get _any worse.

**End of Chapter 4**

:When I get back from holiday, I hope my Inbox will have some reviews! See you all soon.:


	5. wrong place, wrong time

:hi sorry that it took so long since returning from holiday to update, but I'm working now and don't have time in the day to write. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far, please keep it up! I need lots of motivation right now, especially since I've been ill again for the past couple of weeks!:

**To Catch a Thief**

**Chapter five – wrong place, wrong time**

Phoebe and Joey had been walking for about half an hour. They had long left their campsite and were now walking along the edge of a road. "Pheebs, I'm not sure if this is such a safe route," Joey said nervously as a car sped around a corner, narrowly missing the pair of travellers.

"Joey, this is the _only _route," Phoebe said impatiently, "If the kidnappers have gone to Stowe we need to pass through here."

"Where are we anyway?" Joey demanded.

"We're walking through a small town; it's got a lot of culture, tourists, chocolate factory…"

"What?!" Joey's eyes lit up, "chocolate factory?"

Phoebe rolled her eyes at him. "We can't go visit it now, it's 1a.m," she reminded him, "and our friend has been kidnapped, remember?"

"Oh, yeah, right," Joey cleared his throat and looked sheepishly at her, "so how far away are we from Stowe?"

"Just over an hour away," Phoebe said, consulting her map, "perfect, it's the middle of fall, its freezing cold and we're stuck along a lonely road without any transport."

"Maybe we should've taken the van?" Joey suggested.

"Don't be stupid, we can't take that thing with us," Phoebe contradicted him, "That's the van you used in the robberies! No, the safest thing is what we're doing now – walking."

Joey sighed, looking out beyond the road, seeing the spectacular views of the Vermont Mountains. The trees on their side of the road were covered in spectacular colours of red, yellow and orange.

"Hey look, that mountain looks like a face," he said, chuckling.

"That means we're not that far from Stowe," Phoebe commented approvingly, "we're getting there Joey, we're getting there."

"I'm beginning to wonder if this was such a good idea," Joey confessed, as they continued to amble along.

"We can't leave Chandler to defend for himself; he's hopeless at that," Phoebe told him, wrapping her coat tighter around her as a cool breeze blew at them.

"Yeah… but I got this feeling these guys are dangerous," Joey continued worriedly, "what are we getting ourselves into?"

****

"This is our worst nightmare!"

"Tommy, of all the people you had to catch!"

"It's not _my _fault!"

Chandler rolled his eyes as he listened to the four kidnappers discuss frantically about Monica. He glanced at her again, noting that she was still the picture of cool and triumph. He moved closer to her, desperate for answers.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he hissed in her ear.

Monica frowned at him, "I don't need to tell you _anything_!" she hissed back, "you could be anyone!"

Chandler swallowed nervously. She was right of course, he _was _someone. He was a thief, and a pretty famous one at that. However, Monica didn't know that, and he was beginning to feel irritated with the tone of voice she was using on him.

"If we don't work together, we're not going to get out of this mess!" he whispered urgently.

"Look, 'Mark' if that is indeed your real name; even if you _have_ been dragged here against your will it's still quite obvious these guys _know _you. You can't be trusted." Monica turned away from him slightly.

Chandler sighed. "I know you don't have any right to trust me, but I'm telling you the truth, I don't know these lunatics!"

"Then who _are _you then?" Monica demanded, "I know you're not a lord's Aide or whatever you call yourself."

"Just what makes you think I'm not?" Chandler snapped, slightly shocked that Monica had seen through his disguise.

Monica gave a short, quiet laugh. "Oh please, I'm a FBI agent, I think I can tell if someone is associated with a Lord…and you are definitely _not_." 

Before Chandler could think of a plausible retort, Robert walked quickly over to them. "I don't like the sound of all these whispers," he told them, scowling malevolently, "Shut up now."

 "You're creaming your pants, admit it," Chandler shot at him, smirking. "You don't have a clue what to do now that you're in the presence of a FBI agent."

Robert grabbed Chandler's collar with both hands and shook him hard. "I would be very careful about what you say you little wiseass," he warned, "I know more about you than you think."

Chandler shook Robert off and glared at him. "Ok then, what do you know?" he demanded, "I am _dying _to hear your knowledge of my background."

Robert laughed nastily and turned to Kyle, Tommy and Dave. "Shall we tell him?" he asked them.

Tommy grinned and nodded.

"We know who you are, _Chandler_, we know where you come from and we know what you've done in the last twelve months," Robert told him, wiping the calm smile off Chandler's face, "That enough to know?"

"Chandler? Where did you get a name like that?" Chandler asked, laughing uncomfortably. 

Robert grinned and turned to Monica. "You are in the presence of one-half of the notorious 'black panthers' Agent," he told her, "I bet you didn't think of that one, did you?"

****

Monica glanced over at Chandler, shocked at this revelation. It just didn't seem possible. Chandler was annoying, sarcastic, stubborn…but a criminal on America's Most Wanted list? He just didn't fit the stereotype. Beneath the tough attitude, Chandler looked like the type of guy who would spend his nights sitting in front of the TV, watching a movie while eating a large bucket of popcorn. She remembered how concerned he appeared to be for her in the van…was that all an act?

No wonder he was walking around pretending to be royalty with _that _identity on his shoulders. 

She met his eyes; they were panicking eyes, not the look of a hardened criminal. They held a vulnerability she hadn't previously noticed, and to her annoyance, she found herself pitying Chandler. She got over herself; no way should she be feeling sorry for a man who had been playing a game of cat and mouse with the authorities for the last twelve months.

"I think I preferred the Lord's Aide," she muttered, gazing at Chandler in continued disbelief.

"Oh believe me, so do I," Chandler replied, the bitterness evident in his voice.

"Yeah right," Robert said disbelievingly, "you telling me you haven't _enjoyed _playing the whole country for fools? Playing _us _for fools?"

"How have I played _you _for a fool?" Chandler demanded angrily, "I don't even _know _you."

"Maybe I should rephrase that question," Robert commented, smiling meanly, "What I _really_ meant to ask you is if you liked playing _Doug _for a fool?"

Monica frowned, confused at the conversation taking place. She studied Chandler's reaction to this question, and to her surprise, she saw that he looked frightened. Who was this Doug?

"You-you know Doug?" Chandler whispered hoarsely.

Tommy, Kyle and Dave laughed manically. Robert continued to smile calmly. "You _could_ say that," he conceded, "and I have to say, Doug isn't best pleased with you right now."

Chandler scowled at him, "The feeling's mutual." He shot at him.

"Now, now, Chandler, what has Doug ever done to _you_?" Robert asked in mock-surprise, "If I remember correctly, Doug treated you with the highest amount of respect."

"If treating me with respect means blackmail and intimidation, then woop-de-doo to him," Chandler muttered, turning away.

"Ok, _what _is going on here?" Monica demanded, "have you all forgotten that you're in the presence of the FBI? Chandler, who are these men working for? What did they do to you?"

"A little matter of miscommunication here," Dave commented, exchanging glances with his gang, "It's more of on the lines of what _Chandler_did to _Doug_, isn't that right?" he looked over at Chandler in distaste. "You see, Agent Geller, not only are you in the presence of a thief, but you're also in the presence of a man who doesn't know the word 'loyalty.' Don't trust this man, lady; he's a lying, double-crossing con."

"Don't listen to them Monica," Chandler pleaded, "You don't know half the story."

"I can see that," Monica said, gazing around all the men.

Tommy sighed impatiently, "We haven't got time for this crap," he told his gang, "We told Doug we would deliver Chandler to him, and that's what we're going to do, unless we want to get killed." He tapped his wrist watch, "Its 4am!"

"How do we explain _her_?" Kyle demanded, pointing to Monica frantically.

Tommy shrugged. "We'll give her to Doug too," he replied, "he'll know what to do with her."

"Wh-what do you mean?" Monica asked nervously. She cast Chandler a stricken look, who just shrugged helplessly.

"Do you want us to spell it out for you?" Robert asked, grinning again.

"You can't _kill _her!" Chandler freaked, "she hasn't done a _thing _to you. _I'm _your problem, not Monica! Just let her go, _please_!"

"Save it Romeo," Tommy said, rolling his eyes, "your romantic protests won't help your friend now."

"We're not friends," Monica and Chandler said together stonily.

Tommy smirked. "Ok then, so _she's _not your friend," he admitted, "but what I would like to know is where your _other _friend is?"

Chandler's narrowed his eyes. "If you think I'm telling you where Joey is, you've got another thing coming."

"Fine, be like that, we'll find out eventually anyway." Tommy grabbed Chandler's arm and shoved him towards the entrance of the empty boutique they had parked outside. He pulled out a key and fitted into the lock of the door. He jiggled it around, but the key wouldn't turn. He turned to Dave, who was holding on to Monica and glared at him in disgust. "I thought you said this was your cousin's old store?" he demanded; "the stupid key won't fit!"

Dave shrugged. "They were the only one's I found in her house that resembled the ones she used to use here, how was _I _supposed to know for definite?"

"because, idiot, we need a hideout, and you told us this was the best place!" Tommy exclaimed, flinging the keys at him, "what are we supposed to do now?"

"Let Monica and I go?" Chandler quipped.

Kyle rolled his eyes and stepped closer. "You are really beginning to piss me off now." He told him.

"It's a pleasure to," Chandler shot back without a beat.

"Shut up," Monica hissed, "Don't aggravate these guys."

"Well at least _one _of you has got the right ideas," Robert said, looking her up and down slyly, "how about you join our little gang?" he whispered in her ear, "I'll make sure you're comfortable."

Monica grimaced and turned away from Robert's leering face. "Don't flatter yourself, creep." She muttered.

"Playing hard to get are we?" Robert asked her, smiling widely. He stroked her arm and Monica trembled.

"Get your filthy hands off her," Chandler snapped, trying to pull free from Tommy's grip to lunge for Robert.

"Ohh, Romeo to the rescue again!" Robert mocked, continuing to run his hands in Monica's hair. She kicked out at his shin and he fell down to the ground, wincing. 

"I don't _need _rescuing!" Monica shouted. Robert stood up again, rubbing his leg. He glared at her.

"All my life I have got my own way, and I will this time…eventually." He warned her, smiling nastily.

"Just you try it," Chandler whispered. Monica cast a grateful look at him.

"I've got it open!" Tommy announced, opening the door, "get inside, all of you!" He shoved Chandler inside, and then beckoned for Dave to do the same with Monica.

****

The sound of the telephone ringing woke Rachel from her deep sleep. She checked her watch, and groaned when she saw the time. "6am? Ross, if that's you…" she grumbled, getting out of bed and putting on her robe. She walked through the apartment and picked up the receiver. "Hello?" she greeted wearily.

"Rach? Is that you?" Ross' voice demanded urgently.

Rachel groaned. "Look Ross, its 6am," she whined, "I know you're worried about Monica, but I'm sure she's fine wherever she is. It's her _job…_"

"She's gone missing!" Ross interrupted.

Rachel's eyes widened, not believing what she was hearing. "She's…what?" she whispered.

"I got a call from some Agent guy at Washington; they haven't heard from Monica since early this morning. She was supposed to call them by 9pm tonight, but she never did. Rachel…I'm worried sick."

Rachel detected the emotion in Ross' voice and swallowed hard. "Maybe…maybe she was too tired to call HQ," she suggested feebly.

"Monica too tired to let her boss' know she's ok?" Ross asked disbelievingly, "Come on Rachel, you know her better than that."

"Well…well there's _got _to be _some _reasonable explanation why she never got in touch," Rachel said desperately, "don't they know where she is?"

"Apparently the last call they got from her was in Vermont yesterday. She said she had a lead on the 'black panthers'… oh my god Rachel, what if they've kidnapped her?"

"Now, Ross, we don't know that," Rachel tried to assure him.

"Can…can you come round?" he asked hesitantly, "I could do with the company."

"You mean after everything that's happened?" Rachel asked doubtfully.

"I don't think we should let our break-up get in the way of our concern for my sister, do you?" Ross pointed out.

Rachel sighed. Ross was right. Monica was a lot more important right now than any of the problems she currently had with Ross. Suddenly, the whole Chloe business suddenly seemed so trivial. "Ok, I'll be over in half an hour," she whispered.

"Thanks Rachel, I appreciate it."

"You're welcome," Rachel said softly, replacing the receiver.

****

"Maybe we should take a rest," Phoebe muttered, glancing at Joey, who was beginning to slow down. 

Joey nodded silently and sat down on a patch of small grass on the side of the road, looking up at the clear, starlit sky. No one could have known that this peaceful place held such dangers. He wished he was oblivious to everything that was happening right now, that he was once again that young, conceited high school kid with no ambition. He should be admiring these stars from the balcony of his old apartment, listening not to the whistle of the wind through the trees, but instead to the sounds of cars and beeping cab horns coming from the streets of New York. The city was cramped with millions of people, it was polluted, but it was home. He didn't get gangsters in his old life and Chandler was just his roommate, _not _his partner in crime. 

How things changed. In the space of a year and a half, he and Chandler had gone from happy, care-free bachelors to men on the run.

They had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time, that's all…

**End of Chapter five**

:all will be explained soon, just as long as you REVIEW!:


	6. building on a dream

**To Catch a Thief**

**Chapter Six – building on a dream**

_Eighteen months ago_

Joey opened the door to the apartment, walked in and then slammed it shut. He leaned back against it, breathing hard. As soon as he had got his breath back, he started to pace around the room.

"Um…Joe?" 

Joey looked up at the source of the voice. Chandler was standing outside his bedroom, staring at him open-mouthed.

"I am _so _glad you're here!" Joey gasped out, rushing over to his roommate in relief.

Chandler continued to stare at him in confusion. "Where else would I be?" he asked, laughing, "It's 11pm!"

"At least you're safe, that's all that matters." Joey muttered, beginning to pace the room again.

"What the…Joe, what's going on?! Where have you _been_ all day anyway?"

Joey stopped pacing once again and gazed at Chandler, feeling more frightened than he had felt in a long time. _The Shining _couldn't compare to what he was about to tell his roommate.

****

_The present_

"Are you ok?" Chandler whispered softly, shifting his legs uncomfortably around the floor.

Monica nodded silently. They were both sitting in the basement of the empty shop, locked in with only a few mildew covered boxes for company. The men had the decency not to tie them up, but the floor was hard and cold. Her legs felt numb, and goose-bumps were beginning to appear all up her arms. An evening gown meant for the ball was not the best form of dress in conditions like these.

"What do you think they're doing up there?" Monica finally asked Chandler.

"God knows," he muttered. 

"They're going to kill us, I just know it!" Monica said frantically, standing up and pacing the room.

"They wouldn't _dare _kill _you_," Chandler told her, a wry smile appearing on his face, "not now they know where you come from. If anything, it'll be me they're concentrating on."

"I just don't understand…" Monica gazed at Chandler in the continuing disbelief she had felt ever since she had been told the truth about him. "How did you get yourself _involved _with these men?"

"I've already _told _you, I don't _know _these men," Chandler replied irritably, "you'll have to talk to Joey to find thatone out."

"Then please tell me what you do know," Monica pleaded, "I'm going crazy here! Nothing makes sense!"

"As soon as I tell you, you'll be trying to escape to get in touch with your friends at HQ," Chandler said to her grimly, "then the mess I'm in will just get worse."

"Ok, what if I _don't _tell them?" Monica knew she was clutching at straws here, and it was potentially career threatening to be making such a suggestion…but she had to know how this sarcastic but mild mannered man got himself into this kind of situation.

Chandler started to laugh. "Would you listen to yourself? Have you forgotten it's your jobto catch people like me?" he asked incredulously, "how can you _not _tell them?"

"Because for some unexplainable reason, I actually care about what happens to you," Monica whispered, avoiding his eyes. "I want to know how you got us into this…and…and I need your help on how to get _out _of this too."

Chandler just sighed and looked away, not saying anything.

Monica gave out a frustrated growl and stamped her foot. "Look, either way, you're screwed!" she shouted at him, "If you don't tell me what happened, I'll find it out anyway when I get out! So you might as well just tell me your version of events before I find out from somebody else who will make the story ten times worse!"

"Ok, ok, I'll tell you!" Chandler exclaimed; "please just calm down, for crying out loud! Do you want the gang back down here again or something?"

Monica nodded, satisfied that she had finally got somewhere. She sat down next to Chandler, leaning against the wall.

"About eighteen months ago, before all of this, I was working at a multi-national corporation in New York. I was a data processing supervisor…"

"A…what?" 

"oh geezus, does _anyone_ know? Just take my word for it, ok?" Chandler told her, rolling his eyes, "it was a good job, boring, but it got me good money so who was I to complain? I had my own office…with _walls_ as my friend Phoebe once said…and I could do what I liked. Anyway, so eighteen months ago I was still doing all that until one day I offered a job to my roommate Joey. He was an actor you see, but he wasn't very good at getting his big break…apart from his little stint on Days Of Our Lives he hadn't been earning any money really."

"Oh my god, Joey was on Days of Our Lives?!" Monica shrieked, "do you mean Joey _Tribbiani_? My friend Rachel adored him…" she caught Chandler's look and stopped, "but anyway, as you were saying…"

"Yeah…well…so I offered him a job as an entry-level processor. It was easy enough to pick up and he settled in well. He settled in a little _too _well as it turned out. Joey had this fascination with being 'in character' at the company…it was the role of a lifetime for him. Most of the employees had wives or husbands, so he thought it would be funny to adopt the name 'Joesph' and become part of the group."

"Oh god, what happened?"

"Doug happened," Chandler replied grimly, "he was my boss at the company. I kept away from him most of the time, but Joey didn't. It wasn't really _all _his fault, he was just naïve. Doug liked to pick his 'favourites', and he saw the innocence in Joey that no-one else at the company seemed to have. So he took him under his wing, invited him round his house to dinner, the usual kind of stuff. Joey, of course, loved the attention he was receiving and he accepted it gladly. I was more suspicious, but there was nothing I could do. I couldn't even _fire _him; he was in a different department to me."

"So Joey was being sucked into Doug's world?" Monica asked, wide-eyed, "when did it start to go all wrong?"

"well, it's funny you should say that," Chandler mused, "I honestly don't know…or at least I can't pinpoint the exact moment when Joey started to get in trouble. Maybe it was when he started to come home late at night, sometimes not come home at all until the next morning. It wasn't until Joey came home one night, scared to death; that I found out what had been going on."

"Which brings us back to my question…_what _happened?"

"I suppose I should say at this point that Joey has a _huge _family. His grandmother is Italian – and wow is she scary or what! She was the fifth person to spit on Mussolini's body, believe it or not. Anyway, Joey's dad's brother, Brian, is a little…dodgy. He's got a whole mafia group going on. I think that guy Tommy is one of them, did you notice the accent? 

Anyway, Joey had an idea what kind of family he had and to his credit he kept well out of it. He knew his father's hardware store was invested in by his Uncle Brian and he wanted no part of it. Unfortunately, when Joey started to become Doug's 'friend' he didn't realise he was going to be sucked into all of it. It turned out Doug has 'connections' with Joey's mafia family. Brian 'invests' into the company just so long as he can keep a percentage of the profits. It's all very secretive, very dodgy and very illegal."

"Wait a second, it isn't illegal to invest into a company," Monica interrupted.

"Monica, this isn't the legal kind of investing where you sign a deed of partnership and split the profits equally. This money was given 'under the table', it was dirty. I'll explain in a minute where it came from. 

Doug had no idea that Joey was related to Brian – they have different surnames because Brian changed his a while back – so when he invited Joe to dinner one night…guess who the other guest was?"

"Brian," Monica whispered.

"Yeah," Chandler replied grimly, "of course, when Brian saw Joey, he went crazy. He knew his nephew was squeaky clean and wouldn't approve of any of this. It wasn't part of the deal he had with Doug. Doug told Brian they could trust Joey…they even offered him a bribe."

"Oh no," Monica gasped, "he didn't take it…did he?"

"Monica, Joey was offered $50,000, and he could sit in on this important meeting. His favourite movie is Die Hard; he loves to be in on the action. If you were like that, not realising what you're about to get into, would you have refused?"

"Um…"

"You wouldn't, would you? So, Joey stupidly took the money. There was no going back now. This was when things started to take a really unpleasant turn in Joey's case. So far, it had all been good. He had gone out to dinner with his boss a few times, played tennis with him and told a few cheesy jokes. Now, it was _business_. He heard how the company was in a whole lot of debt, so Doug had turned to the mafia to ask for money. It came at a couple of prices though; one was the percentage of the profits the mafia wanted, and two was the 'favours' Doug had to do for them. You see, all the money was coming from a business that the mafia themselves ran."

"What was their business?"

"They stole artwork, sold it in countries whom were none the wiser about the background of the paintings, and the mafia collected money from it."

"No wonder the money is dirty," Monica breathed, "this is fraud of the highest order!"

"Tell me about it," Chandler mumbled, "and Joey was caught up right in it. By taking that kick-back of $50,000, he was required to do whatever the mafia told him. His job was to help them steal the paintings."

"And you knew _nothing of this?" Monica asked in shock._

"Not a thing. It wasn't uncommon for Joey to disappear at all hours – I assumed he was picking up girls at bars every night. He continued to do it for about a month until one night he almost got caught. That kind of scared him and he told Brian he wanted out. Unfortunately, when you start working for Brian – nephew or not – you do it for a lifetime. When Joey realised this, he freaked out and told me all about it."

"Then you went on the run…"

"No, I did a bit of undercover work first," Chandler said, wincing, "I convinced Doug and Brian to let me into their little gang and I went out on my first job with Joey a week later. Joey couldn't understand what I was doing; I hadn't told him about the undercover thing. He found out soon enough though. That first job for Brian was my _only _job…I had that painting in my hands - a $10,000,000 Picasso – and something went off in my head. Instead of taking the painting to Brian, Joey and I ran off with it ourselves. We had double-crossed Doug, Brian and the rest of those sleazeballs and had taken the profits for ourselves. Along the way, we picked up our friend Phoebe, told her what had happened and we've been on the run ever since."

Monica sat in silence for a while, a million thoughts rushing through her head. Finally, she decided to say something. "What-what made you continue to rob museums?" she demanded.

"We needed to make a new life for ourselves far away from Doug and in order to do that, we needed money. It also stopped the mafia from continuing their business – they actually physically hurt people when they steal the paintings."

"You're on America's Most Wanted! You've caused a nationwide panic! Don't you know that?" Monica gripped Chandler's arm, "you've ruined your lives forever."

"Of course I know that," Chandler whispered, a flash of sadness spreading across his face, "I think about it everyday. I've left behind a city I loved with all my heart, the freedom of walking through the streets is gone…but the plan was to cross the border and build a _new life." He looked away and smiled. "After the job in Vermont, we were going to Mexico. I was going to buy a little beach house and live in contented nothingness for the rest of my life. I would be able to hear the Pacific Ocean washing up on the sand every morning, and Joey and Phoebe could visit me. Phoebe was going to write songs all day and Joey dig holes. It was going to be…"_

"Perfect," Monica finished for him. Chandler met her eyes and smiled.

"Unfortunately, life isn't perfect," he told her sadly. "I didn't plan to get stuck in here and drag you into it. Joey didn't plan to get involved with his Uncle and we didn't plan to go on the run. You can't build on dreams and expect them to come true."

"I didn't plan on becoming a FBI agent," Monica murmured, "not at all."

"Go on then, what was _your _dream?"

Monica stared at Chandler contemplatively. She never thought she would be confiding in a master criminal, but there was something about the tortured, soulful look in his eyes that softened her heart.

"I wanted to be a chef," Monica confessed.

"Well, that's…similar." Chandler grinned at her.

Monica chuckled. "After I graduated from High School, I was all set to go to college and become a chef…but then my mom signed me up to work in the CIA as a filing assistant."

"Without even asking you?" Chandler asked in shock.

"That's my mom," Monica said, rolling her eyes, "she wanted me to earn money while my _brother _was at college. Apparently one child at college was enough for my parents. Anyway, in the end I worked my way into becoming an Agent myself and here I am. I'm 27 years old, I'm single – probably for a lifetime because of the amount of time I spend away from home – and my job is my life."

"What does your brother do?"

"He's a palaeontologist. My parents are _so proud of him," Monica added bitterly, "of course it doesn't __matter that his first marriage to Carol failed because she turned out to be a lesbian. I can't believe he didn't see it, it was _so _obvious. When she was at college she used to play golf, drink beer out of the bottle…what's the matter?"_

To Monica's amazement, Chandler's mouth had dropped opened and his cheeks had turned a deathly pale.

"Is-is your brother's name Ross?" he asked faintly.

"Yes! How did you guess that?"

"I went to college with him." Chandler said quietly, "We were roommates. I introduced him to Carol; she was in my English class."

**End of chapter six**

:haha bet you didn't see that coming, did you? Did you? Please review! Hope it was worth waiting for anyway! More will be explained on why Monica never knew Ross' roommate!:


	7. The psycho and the psychic

_**(Author's note after this chapter…I'm back from the 'disappearing writers club!')**_

**To Catch a Thief**

**Chapter Seven: The Psycho and the Psychic**

"You knew Ross?" Monica stood up, her face paling. "What…how…?"

"Believe it or not, I used to have a life you know." Chandler replied dryly.

"I-I've never heard Ross mention your name…not ever." Monica stammered, "He never brought you home Thanksgiving and other holidays."

"I don't know why Ross never mentioned my name but I haven't liked Thanksgiving since I was a kid…but that's a whole other story that I'm not getting into. As for Christmas and summer, I was forced to help my father in his Las Vegas shows to earn money."

"Las Vegas shows?" Monica arched an eyebrow.

"You _really _don't want to know that one." Chandler cleared his throat uncomfortably and fell silent.

"What happened after college? How come I never met you?" Monica asked softly.

Chandler stared at her. He wondered what it _could _have been like if he had met Monica before. His life would definitely had been different, that's for sure. "We lost touch. No reason really."

"I don't believe that." Monica said bluntly. "Ross would never have just stopped seeing you. You were probably the only friend he had as a teenager." She chuckled, a reminiscent look on her face.

Chandler opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by the door opening. Robert walked in, smirking.

"Will you two keep it down?" He sneered, "We've got a game of poker going on upstairs."

"Well excuse me if I don't give a damn." Chandler snapped.

Robert walked up to Chandler, bent down and gripped his collar. "I really would keep it down," he hissed, "before I decide to take your little friend away." He released Chandler and eyed Monica up and down.

Monica curled her lip and straightened her dress awkwardly.

Robert laughed and looked back down at Chandler. "We've told Doug we have you and the agent. I think you should start saying your prayers."

He left the room, locking the door behind him.

"Ugh, I can't wait to nail him." Monica muttered darkly.

Chandler arched an eyebrow. "Too bad you didn't have a gun."

"How exactly was I supposed to hide a gun while wearing an evening gown?" Monica demanded, twirling round once.

"You coulda strapped it around the inside of one of your thighs." Chandler suggested airily.

Monica blinked and looked down at him. "Yeah…I-I suppose I could have," she admitted, shocked. "How did you think of that?"

Chandler shrugged silently.

Monica sighed. "You're really hard to read, you know that?"

"You've only known me two hours." Chandler pointed out, indicating his watch. "There's a whole lot of stuff about me you couldn't even begin to _guess_."

Monica frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Hey, you're the FBI agent, which mean I'm not saying another word. I've told you too much already."

"Does that mean that you haven't told me everything?" Monica demanded, sitting back down beside him.

"It means it's not the time and place to tell you _everything _that happened with Doug," Chandler said, rolling his eyes. "And I don't plan to tell you…at least not until we get out of here, which probably won't be for a while."

* * *

"My god, it's got really late Phoebs," Joey muttered, "the sun is gonna rise soon." 

Joey and Phoebe had arrived at their destination – a small town with many little boutiques and houses.

"I know but we can't give up now Joe." Phoebe hissed. "Just stay quiet. We don't want to wake anybody up."

"Since when did you decide who's in charge?" Joey grumbled.

Phoebe rolled her eyes and glanced at her watch.

"Where are you?" She whispered. "You can't be far."

Joey glanced at her. "How do we _really _know Chandler's here?" he asked. "They could be in an entirely different state by now!"

Phoebe turned to face him. "I know he's here Joey. I can sense it."

"Oh no…it's one of those psychic things?" He groaned.

Phoebe nodded slowly. "Yeah." She replied seriously.

Joey stared at her silently for a few minutes before rolling his eyes. "Ok, whatever. I'm all out of ideas anyway so you lead the way."

"I was planning to." Phoebe muttered, glancing at her watch again.

"Why do you keep checking the time?" Joey demanded. "All we need to know is that we're up at a stupid hour in a place we've never been before."

"Shh," Phoebe hissed, interrupting Joey's flow. "Did you hear something?"

Joey looked around fearfully. "No, why? Did you? Oh god, what if it's those guys?"

Phoebe shook her head. "No, it's not them."

"Then what did you hear?"

"Me." A deep voice said in his ear, making him jump in fright and turn around. Things did not improve when Joey realised he was now staring at an automatic gun pointed right at his face.

* * *

The door to the basement opened once again and this time it was Tommy who walked in. 

"Right, we've figured out what to do with you two." The man said, glaring at Monica.

Monica glared back. "Just you wait until my boys find us."

Tommy laughed. "How? They don't know where you are."

Chandler gave him a strange smile, which Monica couldn't figure out. "Things have been going wrong for you all night, I bet there is someone out there who knows exactly where we are. If that's the case, you're for it."

Monica wished that was true. She just hoped Chandler would stop provoking the gang. Someone was going to get hurt, and she didn't think it would be Kyle, Robert, Tommy or Dave who would come worst off.

"Chandler, please shut up." She hissed.

Tommy nodded at Monica. "Your FBI friend has got the right ideas. I really would shut your mouth." He signalled to somebody up the steps. Kyle appeared at the door with two sets of ropes.

"We're going to tie your hands together." Tommy continued, "for some reason, we don't trust either of you."

Chandler laughed. "What's the point in us fighting you? We've got no weapons, no back-up and nowhere to run. We're not _that _stupid."

Monica glanced at Chandler. She had to admit in spite of the mess he was in, Chandler was a good talker. If he persuaded the guys not to tie them up, maybe she could think of a way to get them both out of here.

Tommy glanced at Kyle, who shrugged. "It's your funeral. I know what _I _would do." He looked at Chandler darkly.

"Ok, we won't tie you up." Tommy decided. "I really can't be doing with that crap."

"I still say we should." Robert shouted from upstairs.

"If you don't tie us up…I will do as I'm told." Monica promised. She smiled brightly at Robert as he descended the stairs. "I _mean _that."

She noticed Chandler glancing at her suspiciously, but she ignored him. She had to distract at least one of the guys.

Robert walked across to Monica and stared at her. "Really?" He asked, looking at her up and down.

Monica cleared her throat nervously. "Yes." She answered, looking into his cool eyes.

"Mon, what are you doing?" Chandler asked. "This isn't worth it."

Monica shook her head at Chandler. "You go on ahead with Tommy." She looked at Tommy. "I promise he won't run."

Tommy sighed. "I don't like this." He glanced at Robert, who was now gripping Monica's arm.

"It's ok, Chandler won't run why his woman is with me." Robert smiled at Monica seductively.

"Monica, I'm not leaving you with this-this…pathetic excuse of a human being." Chandler said angrily. "You don't have to do this."

Monica stared at him silently, hoping to send him a message with her eyes that he would know what to do when the time comes to take action.

"I'll see you in a while." She told him. _I promise._

* * *

"Put the gun down." Phoebe told the stranger. 

The man, who was tall with blonde hair, glanced at Phoebe. "How do I know he isn't going to kill me if I let my guard down?"

"Because it's Joey. He wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Is he straight?"

"Yes." Phoebe met the man's eyes, reassuring him. He lowered his gun.

Joey looked between the two of them in complete bewilderment. "What the hell is going on here?" he demanded. "Phoebs, you _know _this psycho?"

Phoebe laughed. "Yes I know him, and no, he's not a psycho."

"I don't think the same goes for you." The man shot at Phoebe with a grin, re-holstering his weapon inside his jacket.

"That's the thanks I get for saving your life twice in the last three years?" Phoebe asked, lifting her eyebrows.

The man shrugged.

"Um…what?" Joey stared at Phoebe.

"Joey, I would like to introduce Kip Younger to you. I believe you two have already met?"

Joey stared at Kip closely. He widened his eyes.

"Oh my god…you're the museum curator Chandler and I met the other day!"

"Um, yeah." Kip replied with a grin. "Except that I'm no more a museum curator than you are a lord."

"Kip works for the CIA." Phoebe filled in. She glanced at Kip's concerned face. "It's ok, you really _can_ trust him."

"The CIA?!" Joey gasped. "And you know him Phoebe?"

"That would be because I'm a CIA agent too." Phoebe confessed quietly, "and boy did you ever get us into one big mess."

* * *

Monica and Robert were now alone together in the basement. Robert stroked Monica's arms up and down. 

"This is the deal? You're mine in exchange for not wearing some stupid ropes?" Robert asked Monica incredulously. "Boy, you must really love that Chandler."

Monica closed her eyes briefly before opening them again. She had known Chandler for less than three hours, he was a criminal, but god yes, she had fallen in love with him. She was damned if she was going to let those creeps hurt him or Joey.

"What are you waiting for?" She demanded. "Kiss me."

Robert blinked in surprise. "Hey, hey. I'm calling the shots here."

Monica grabbed the back of Robert's neck and pulled him to her. She pressed her lips against his, trying not to grimace. He smelled of stale cigarettes and beer.

He pushed her against the wall, and Monica felt his powerful body pinned against her. She closed her eyes as he kissed her neck. "You know, um, you're not going to get much satisfaction if you don't even let me breathe."

Robert paused and grinned. "Fine. You run the show."

He stepped back and Monica sat down on the floor. She tapped the stone. "Join me."

Robert eagerly sat down next to her and pulled her to him once more. Monica let him lie on top of her and he started to lift her dress. He stopped at her stomach and he ran his hands down her front. Monica cringed inwardly.

"Is that all you can do?" She demanded, touching his belt buckle.

"What?" Robert growled. "Right that's it. Take off my pants."

Monica shrugged. "Fine."

She pulled off his belt with a flourish, which had an automatic gun attached to it in a holster. Robert was so caught up in what Monica was doing that he had not noticed he was no longer armed. She unzipped his pants and pulled them off him.

"Wow that was fast." He mumbled.

"Kiss my body." She instructed.

"K." As Robert kissed Monica's body, she reached round his back as if to pull off his shirt but instead reached for the gun.

"Get your filthy lips off me buster." She hissed as she pointed it into the side of his head. Robert froze and leapt off, laying down flat on the floor. Monica quickly pulled her dress back down and stood up. She pointed the gun down at him.

Robert grinned bitterly at her. "I might have known."

"Did you really think I _wanted _you to do all that?" she snapped. "Men are so easy when they're aroused. Now, here is what you're going to do. You're going to unlock that door and let me out. Then you're going to stay in here like the good man you are and keep quiet, do you hear me?"

Robert scowled. "It's one against all of the gang. You won't overpower them."

"Maybe not. But I'm going to try. Now get moving."

* * *

"Get moving Chandler." Kyle snapped, pushing him along the darkened street. 

"Where are we going?" Chandler asked.

"You'll know when you get there."

Chandler rolled his eyes. "Stating the obvious a bit." He winced a little and bent down to rub the back of his right knee. "ow."

Dave glanced down at Chandler. "What's the matter?" he growled.

"I've been sitting still in a van and then a cold basement for the last three hours. I'm a little stiff." Chandler muttered, pulling up his pant leg. "Please…can you just let me stretch? I won't be any good to you if I can't walk."

"Fine, fine." Dave grumbled. "Hurry up."

"Oh I'll definitely do that." Using one hand, Chandler ripped off the gun that was attached to his inner thigh and then wrapped his other arm around Dave's neck. He pointed his gun into Dave's side. "Oh I'm so sorry. This wasn't part of your plan?" He said to a shocked Kyle and Tommy.

* * *

"Is your tracker working ok?" Kip asked Phoebe, pointing to her watch. "It took you a while to find me. I've been here for at least an hour." 

"I think the cold has got to it. So your watch says Chandler is here someplace too?"

"Hold it guys, I deserve answers!" Joey shouted. "What do you mean; I got you into a mess?"

"You were never supposed to meet Doug." Phoebe shot at him. "Chandler was right. You should never have got a job at the same company as him."

"Keep your voices down." Kip hissed. "Chandler's chip is telling me he's right near us."

"Chandler has been investigating Doug, your uncle Brian and the rest of the gang for years." Phoebe whispered to Joey, while also glancing around.

"What?!"

"Shh! Yes, it's true. Chandler works for the CIA. In the Frauds Department. Someone had been stealing original works of paintings, and selling them on in different countries. Brian's gang is good. They produced counterfeit copies of previous buyers and the authenticity certificate to the poor saps who bought them, just in case they were accused of stealing. These guys are the best fraudsters the CIA has known for years, but Chandler is the best document examiner in the business. He's caught many kidnappers based on how they dot their 'i's' on ransom notes, believe it or not. If he wasn't so honest, Chandler would probably make millions on fake bank cheques without getting caught."

"I don't believe this."

"You should start believing it right now. You were never supposed to be involved in this. Chandler's plan was to arrest Doug. When he found out Brian was your Uncle he almost had a stroke." Phoebe grimaced. "He had to get you out of the gang the only way he knew how – by pretending to be Doug's friend and then stealing one of the Picasso's." She glanced at Kip. "That's still hidden safe in our van."

"Oh by the way, all those paintings you and Chandler have been 'stealing' for the last few months? All fake." Kip cut in, grinning.

"What?" Joey asked faintly. "All of them?"

"All the robberies were set up by Chandler. He needed to coax Doug's gang out of hiding. Every museum curator that you have been talking to is a friend of the CIA."

"What about the FBI and the media? They're all after our backs!"

"Yeah…um…sorry about that. This investigation by Chandler's department is classified. We're not supposed to be telling you any of this. All that 'Black Panthers' stuff was started to rile up Doug's gang, get them out of hiding and find Chandler so that _he _could get _them_. Unfortunately, the dumb FBI decided to poke their noses in, didn't consult us and started sending out agents to find you. They think the CIA are after the Black Panthers, not realising we made that name up. The FBI has been chasing the wrong 'criminals' for months. Which kinda complicated things, but hey, nothing in this business runs smoothly." Kip grinned and shrugged

Joey looked at him angrily. "This isn't a joke. You guys ruined my life! I'm on America's Most Wanted."

Phoebe chuckled. "Don't worry. You're still unidentified – that security man that almost busted you in NYC? He's also CIA. Chandler didn't really drug him with laxatives, though that would have been funny. He was there to make the robbery look plausible."

"Jesus." Joey breathed. "I feel sick. I thought I was going to get shot at that night."

"No, you've always been safe. Although, in this last museum in Vermont, we didn't tell them anything," Kip explained. "I was genuinely undercover yesterday, keeping an eye out for Doug as well as getting you an 'in' on the opening night gala." He chuckled. "I tell you, I had trouble keeping a straight face at your 'disguises'."

"So what were Chandler and I doing at the gala last night?" Joey asked.

"Just before I met you guys, I had a visit from a couple of 'fundraisers' called Robert and Tommy. I saw through them straight away. I gave them invites to the party, tipped off Phoebe and then she tipped off Chandler. It all went wrong though. Some other guys were at the party, you were outnumbered and you know the rest."

"You really played me for a fool." Joey muttered, looking away.

Phoebe stared. "Don't take it that way Joey." She said quietly. "I couldn't tell you."

Joey stared at her sadly. "Phoebe…I love you. I wouldn't hide anything from you. I can't believe you put me through this."

"Joey, if Chandler and I had left you behind in New York, Doug would have visited your apartment and killed you. We were protecting you!"

"You could have _told _me about it!" Joey shouted, shaking his head. "This isn't Phoebe. I can't even look at you right now."

"Guys, save the domestics for later. We've got a situation." Kip said suddenly, pointing down the street.

**End of Chapter Seven**

**_:So_** **_it's been nearly two years according to this website. What can I say? Time flies when you're enjoying yourself away from the computer. I suppose I got fed up with writing. It happens. I knew where I wanted to go with my stories, but I the truth is I was too lazy to finish them. However, I'm back to finish this story and I actually think it's the inspiration from J.K Rowling finishing her Harry Potter series that clinched it. I was thinking to myself last week and I realised how could I leave my readers on tenterhooks? I wanted to show my readers the twist, and it's something I should have had wrapped up over one and a half years ago!!! And guess what, it's not over yet!! But you knew that anyway._**


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